Downwards

So I've received my appointment for surgery to insert a peritoneal catheter into my abdomen. This is the first stage of my entry into dialysis.


In addition I will be having an umbilical hernia fixed, which was something I was not aware of, but hey, two for the price of one and all that I suppose.


For preparation I have to take a nasty solution of Sodium Picosulfate, which will clear my bowels, dramatically, in the 48 hour run up to the operation. So that will mean I have to work from home in the run up.


I knew all this was coming but my last blood test revealed a reduced eGFR of 8. Carla eat your heart out. When I watch that programme I know it's for dramatic effect that she is not already on dialysis but it is still odd to see her collapsing on an eGFR of 16. Still, I suppose everyone is different. I feel generally fine still, if a little drunk feeling and out of focus on life challenges. I've recently just not been going into work and sleeping a lot, which I guess is my symptoms starting to rear up.


And if that were not bad enough we are still in this poisonous Brexit nightmare where the government is still insistent on pursuing a suicidal exit strategy. They want to leave the Customs Union in order to strike trade deals with the rest of the world! Well guess what, we have to put up a border across Ireland if we do that. It's very very odd to see the blatant myopia and insistence that Mr Barnier would not go that far. Well he has spelt it out very clearly now. There will be a border if we leave the Customs Union. And so the likes of Mr Rees-Mogg, who seems as divorced from reality as my renal symptoms are making me, wish for us to go down the no-deal route and exit the EU next year without any implementation phase. This will lead to utter chaos, with planes not even able to fly across our borders in theory. I just wish this chaos would all stop. It is obvious that we cannot pursue a hard Brexit and that a no-deal would be catastrophic. The recent leaked Government sanctioned reports have stated this - that there would be up to 16% impact in the classic Brexiteer areas of the North East if we leave without any deal.


I just wish for one thing. That my health returns in the near future, and that I have the choice at least on whether to leave this xenophobic, poisonous country and move across the Channel to Europe. That is my dream, but for the time being I am reliant on the NHS, wonderful that it is, to help me recover.