Ennui

I was lying in the bath earlier when I thought about it. I usually have a bath rather than a shower in order to protect my exit site. It's quite nice anyway to be submerged (partially) by bubbles and warm water as I contemplate life.

It's ennui, the definition of my own life right now. Ennui for having a fucking inconvenient kidney disease; ennui for how debilitating it is, zapping my energies, ennui for the mist I have lived in for the past 20 years as a prescription medication taker to slow my blood pressure down; ennui for the daily drag of attending a job I really am bored by, yet having no interest in any other thing; ennui for the constant saving up for a pension, a future that is meaningless; ennui for Brexit, for the fact that I am powerless to control its outcome; ennui for the fact that I can't even escape the Brexit hell hole for France and warmer places due to being stuck in Blighty with my gammy kidneys; ennui that I just don't understand what it is all about and why I am blindly doing it, whatever "it" is.

What I can do is cocoon myself away with my heating on full blast, eating chocolate, listening to teenage angst music pretending all of the above doesn't exist.

Ennui.

Face Palm

Where do I begin to depict the events of the past week. I've actually been putting off writing a post because, if truth be told, I am fed up with Brexit. So fed up. And actually this is what Theresa May is hoping for, that people will now be so bored of it that they will just want the Government to get on with it. Well unfortunately Mrs May, I do not want you to "just get on with it". I want you to stop it.

So after the Government pulled the vote for the disastrous Withdrawal Bill, knowing that it would be defeated catastrophically, Mrs May faced a confidence vote with her own party. I have to say that when faced with danger, she is a survivor. She survived that, with 200 members voting for her, putting paid to the ambitions of Mr Rees Mogg. Then she scurried off to the EU to attempt the impossible and get a legal definition to the infamous backstop. Well guess what, she didn't get a thing. Yet she returned to try and argue the exact opposite, that the EU had given her assurances that the backstop would only ever be used as a temporary measure. It's like she is living in a parallel universe.

I've noticed in the past week how much more febrile is the atmosphere in political interviews, on that silly stand overlooking the Houses of Parliament. On Twitter too. Something is changing. Perhaps it is panic on behalf of the Brexiteers as they finally realise that they have lost the argument and the spectre of a second referndum starts looming. Even that weasal Darren Grimes, live on Sky News, seemed to threaten national violence if another referendum is declared.

Then today, just after the Government declared that a new date for the vote on the Withdrawal Agreement will take place next January, Jeremy Corbyn seemed to finally wake up and announce a vote of no confidence in Mrs May. Only its all pretense. A vote of confidence in her doesn't really matter. He needs to declare on in the Government if he is really pushing for a General Election.

And worst of all I watch BBC News coverage about American politics and the fact that Russia meddled in virtually every social media platform in order to elect Donald Trump. Yet nobody is reporting that it is highly likely that Russia did exactly the same to cause Brexit. Face palm.

Meaningful vote

So there we have it; the proposed Withdrawal Agreement has been delivered and is now being debated in Parliament. And it is not looking good for Theresa May. As it stands she will not manage to get this "meaningful vote" passed next week, despite the enormous push she has given to it.

The deal is flawed. The backstop is one thing, but equally the fact that we will be "rule takers" and not "rule makers". This makes me chuckle. If we wanted to leave the EU why did we want to be rule makers anyway. People have just not thought this through. And this is what gives me the believe that when it comes to the crunch we will not be leaving the EU. Sooner or later common sense will prevail and the impossible conundrum will be finally exposed for what it is.

So the decision now is between May's deal, no deal or no Brexit. Well both May's deal and no deal are not really going to prevail. The devastation that would occur throughout this country in the event of a no deal isn't worth thinking about. I for one would suffer from this scenario, unable to have access to my medical supplies.

This whole sorry story just needs to end. It is so depressing to think where we have gone as a country, where removing freedom of movement "once and for all" is seen as a "win".  The only person winning would be Theresa May who, having failed to control immigration whilst Home Secretary, when she could have done under EU rules, now is attempting to finish the job.

It makes me so mad that we are considering throwing away everything that we have built over the last 45 years. But like I say I am still quietly confident that common sense will prevail in the end.

Time will tell, next Tuesday when the vote goes through the House of Commons, I am hoping about anything that it will fail. Then the Grieve Amendment will mean that Parliament can attempt to wrestle control from the incompetent hands of the government and put an end to any chance of a no-Brexit. Then it can start to pick up the pieces of this unholy mess.