Thoughts on hung

Well that's a turn up for the books. This was kind of what I was hoping for, except not with the DUP. Whilst it's great that there is some challenge to the hard brexit road we were likely to be going down, I am concerned by the right wing policies around equal marriage, abortion and climate change that the DUP hold. I've written to Neil Coyle, who was successfully elected back into my constituency last night.


I think this is Schadenfreude, given the mantra of "strong and stable" that was forced down our throats. Yet, unbelievably, as I listened to Mrs May speak outside Downing Street, she spoke as if she had a Conservative majority. She is still talking about the will of the people, completely ignoring the will of the people from last night. I expect she still has her feet being held to the fire by the likes of John Redwood and Rees-Mogg. Well the vital thing is that she avoids a vote of no confidence, as Labour and the Lib Dems will surely attempt quite soon, to challenge her authority. Interesting times. I just pray that this means an end, at least, to the hard Brexit nonsense.

Elections, terrorists, kidneys

I don't really want to forget this last week. The last week before the General Election on Thursday. Who'd have thought six weeks ago that the situation would be like it is now?

Then, Theresa May was leading massively in the poles. Then, Jeremy Corbyn was viewed as a bit of a joke, a crusty old Communist who had no chance of beating May. Back then I joined the Liberal Democrats, convinced that their offer to give the public a second vote on Brexit would be the sweet deal that put a stop to all this madness.

Six weeks on: the Liberal Democrat dream is in tatters and the race is neck and neck between Corbyn and May, depending on which pole we believe. The country is split, not so much between Remainers and Leavers but the young versus the old; those with property and pensions and those with no property and who are saddled with student debt. And more recently, since the atrocious attacks in Manchester and London Bridge the battle is on safety; the Tories whose period in Government over the past seven years has failed to stop the wave of terrorists versus Corbyn's IRA past and the relationship he really did have with those protagonists of The Troubles.

May has stuck to robotic slogans: "best possible deal for Brexit", "strong and stable government","me or a coalition of chaos". Yet with multiple u-turns on policy, such as with the hated Dementia Tax, has started to appear weak and wobbly. Corbyn, however,  has evolved from a simple communist to a confident leader in the making, focusing not on Brexit but on NHS, policing and minimum salary; yet one who will tax the top five percent, who refuses to keep us in the Single Market and is rumoured to be planning a mansion tax. It is to the young that Corbyn appeals generally and it is to the older population where May shines. The question on Thursday will be whether enough young people turn out to vote for him.

I'm not in keen for either Labour or Conservatives to win an overall majority. Neither are guaranteeing to keep us in the Single Market.  Neither see the beauty and necessity of freedom of movement. Only the Liberal Democrats, together with SNP can temper the nationalistic mood that has gripped the country since last year.

There are signs of hope. Macron won the French presidency. Netherlands remains Liberal. Europe is strong. We need Europe. In this world of ISIS terrorists we need to work together. I pray that on Friday there is no overall majority, that in the following days there is the "coalition of Chaos" depicted by May. It is what this country needs to heal, not a UKIP style Conservative Government and not a hard left Labour Government that strips hard working successful people of their wealth just for the sake of it.

I think about those who died in Manchester and London Bridge because of hate. I want to end the hate more than anything. When I think about it happening on my doorstep, along Stoney Street in Borough Market it fills me with sadness, but also resolution not to give in to hate, whether that be ISIS or Katie Hopkins' Twitter feed, which I blocked this week.

And as a background to all this I entered the kidney transplant list. It's a sobering thought that someone has to die to give me their kidney, unless I find a living donor of course. It's odd that I felt quite relaxed, almost relieved about it whereas others seemed somewhat upset. So long as I keep my old bloated ones going for as long as possible, although my ankles are now swelling and I'm still a little breathless. I ignore it, or intend to. Life is too precious to worry, especially when it can be extinguished in a second by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm more concerned by who my next prime minister might be, and how we can stop this fuckfest that is called Brexit.

A fork in the road

Another day another hospital appointment. I've now declared my medical situation officially to my workplace. I thought it the best thing to do. Being imminent on the kidney transplant list is something that I need to adapt to, at the very least curtail my business travel. When it comes to leisure travel it feels more of a personal choice. This weekend I flew down to Nice for an overnight stay. Again the beauty of the Cote d'Azur drew me in and I became more determined that ever to end up there. Raoul seems quite keen on the idea too. For me the kidneys are my blocker - particularly if we leave the EU and I don't even have the benefit of my E111 card. Life sucks.


But then life opens up opportunities. I am pushing for career progression right now, at least whilst I have the energy and enthusiasm. There's a bit of a fork in the road for me right now in terms of career choice. Do I remain technical, or become more business-focused?


For now I attend my monthly medical reviews and take life as it comes. I hope and dream that one day will have the opportunity to live in France. For now I can still enjoy brief forays into the sunshine. Also I have a trip to Greece this summer to look forward to, where I'll be seeing my old university friends.

My voting intention

Today's announcement by Theresa May of her intention to hold a General Election came as no surprise. She has the mandate, if polls are to be believed. And a greater majority will allow her to wriggle out of the hard Brexit position she has placed herself into.

I'm in two minds about this. Gain more seats and Brexit will go soft. That is what the markets believe judging by the rising pound today. Lose seats to an ascending LibDem party and we remain in the Single Market. Either way I'll be happier. Labour will surely not gain much with Corbyn in charge. Ultimately the future is unpredictable and if I were a betting man I'd place David Miliband as PM by 2025.

As a sign of my voting intention I today joined the Liberal Democrats. My Labour MP is very pro-European but I cannot forgive Labour leadership for waving through Article 50 like they did.

For me, Brexit is the single issue of this election. If will vote for which ever party shouts loudest about stopping this nonesense. At the moment that is the LibDems.

Today is Black Wednesday

Well today is the day, when we make a leap into the unknown. It is a day I never wanted to happen, but that dreaded letter is making its way to Donald Tusk in Brussels, triggering Article 50 and our departure from the EU.

Let this be clear: the right wing bigots in the Conservative Party are in control here. There is no coming together. I for one remain adamantly opposed to what this Government is about to do to this great country. I am not unpatriotic. I am not against the will of the people. I am democratically expressing my extreme displeasure at the direction Theresa May is taking us. This is a great country. There is no plan. My only hope is that this will conclude with us remaining in the Single Market and enjoying the freedoms that come with that.

This morning on Radio4 somebody said "it's about taking back control of our borders". I will never stop believing that this movement to Brexit has been about for the vastly main part about xenophobia. Nothing more nothing less. That we would walk away from the Single Market to feed this bigoted view is madness. Immigration is good. It feeds our cultures, it brings down barriers, it feeds into the economy, it funds our pensions. If schools and hospitals are full then this is about Government policy and lack in investment, not about immigrants.

This is Black Wednesday. I've cried already this morning. My resolve will never falter in opposing this lunacy.

 

Anywheres and Somewheres

I'm working from home today as I await my passport delivery. Quite the irony given that once I am on the transplant list I shouldn't really travel away from home too far. Still it doesn't feel right not to have the means the travel. I've been listening to Andrew Marr on Radio 4 this morning, with a discussion on Anywheres and Somewheres. I am most definitely an Anywhere, probably to the extreme, in that I am an ultra liberal who believes that immigration is a good thing for culture, economy and social progression.


Still, I stand increasingly isolated in the Theresa May view of the world; she who despises citizens of nowhere. I've lived in London for about twenty years now. I thrive on the multiculturalism here. It's what makes the city work. Believe it or not there is a small community here, be it friends from my building, friendly faces from Guys Hospital or others in local politics. The latter I am increasingly interested in becoming more involved in. I want to make a difference in my local community. Is it possible to be both an Anywhere and a Somewhere?

Not a good kidney week

This week was not a good kidney week. After seeing my consultant and the surgeon, we calculated a rate of 24 months before I might require dialysis. I think the NHS are manipulating me into finding a living donor, as by me going on the transplant list I will also need to wait a minimum of 24 months to find a deceased donor. Go do the sums. I understand why they are doing this, why they didn't put me on the transplant list last year where I would in most probability have avoided dialysis. It just isn't fair. Well life is not fair. Suck it up.


Then later in the week I received a call from Guys to tell me that my eGFR had declined from 15 to 13. This is important as it puts me much nearer to the 10 mark, when I might need to go on dialysis. In theory it could  get to 8 but I am not taking any chances. So now I have to come in for an additional appointment to go through the motions for that.


So now I am really looking at living donors. It's what the NHS wants and it is what I want. It just freaks me out to have to discuss this with friends and family.  If I find one, this nightmare could all be over in a month or so.


Yesterday I started feeling quite dizzy and came home early from work. I think it might be the increased medication to try to reduce my blood pressure. That really rounded off the week for me.